so getting fever blisters or worse getting the downstairs version has been a phobia of mine since 5th grade sex ed. i managed to avoid da herp for 33 whole years. i’ve researched the fuck out of it and listened to dan savage reassure me on one of his podcasts last year that if i hadn’t gotten it by my age, i most likely wasn’t gonna get it. well, i woke up a month ago with a fever blister. in the same week i got the fever blister i got a flat tire, my debit card number was stolen, my radiator had to be replaced, and all these little things went wrong. but as distressed as i thought i would be over getting a fever blister, i didn’t even cry about it and i didn’t cry over the other stuff either. i just looked in the mirror and said, “hmm, ok, well, let’s go get some rhubarb, (along with about 7 other home remedies).”
i feel like my writing has been pretty boring for a while, like i’m not writing “real.” by that i mean i write things that are acceptable for all audiences, a little sterile. i don’t write about being terrified that the moth floating in the toilet might rear up and bite my anus while i’m pissing. i have had that thought and for fuck’s sake it terrifies me because as soon as you piss on a moth in a toilet, that mother fucker comes to LIFE. also, i skipped my doctor’s appointment the other day for my heart because a) i didn’t have the funds but mainly b) it stopped acting weird after getting off of caffeine and daily alcohol consumption. i think it is more the alcohol than the caffeine but i’ve cut back drastically on both.
i’m going to france tuesday. i get to meet my godson and i’m ecstatic. i also lamented to my girlfriend this morning (whom i moved in with one week ago) that i am terrified at the prospect of hitching a ride from the barç airport to perpignan which is silly because i hitchhiked from scotland to russia without incident earlier this year. a 2-hour car ride should be no problemo. and like a mind reader, my good friend jenny said at post church lunch today: “when you feel comfortable on your trip, do something to make yourself uncomfortable.” maybe i should hitch to perpignan and take the train back to barcelona instead of truing both way
speaking of friends, we had our first house guest for breakfast this morning. i made egg strata for the first time and it was amazing. i am compromising on my veganism a bit as my gf is compromising on her meat eating. i’ve cooked every day so today at lunch was the first time my sweetheart has eaten meat in a week. i also finished the last of jess-in-france-meals i made and froze for her to eat while i am gone. i am a cancer through and through when it comes to feeding folks. i really like having a home. i really like my girlfriend. i really like sharing a home with her and being the resident chef. she is enthusiastic about eating vegan grub and it makes my heart happy. and speaking of her and our happy home, i’m ready to get back there and call it a night. i’m internetting at a local brewery while she is at work. I’ve been painting and working and volunteering and i am ready for a quiet night doing nothing except begging out over a a movie, any movie, and being petted to sleep.